Who Will I Be
by Tripp'sGirl10309
Summary: Broken over the loss of the most important men in her life, Isabella Swan puts herself back together. Unforeseen circumstances bring Jake and Edward back into her life, tearing apart everything that she thought she was. Follow her on her journey- sometimes the person we're meant to be is hidden in someone else. Abuse and sexual content will take place in this story. Vamps an Wolves
1. Chapter 1

Loving him was always like walking on a carpet, shattered glass hidden beneath the fuzziness. His hugs were always so warm, but his eyes held ice cold stares for me when everyone else had disappeared into the night. The pack had to have known as the tearful days turned into nightmares, but no one said a word- no one tried to help; I was lost among the only people I had left.

No one said a word about my broken arm or my busted lips, which I am eternally grateful for because I don't know if I could have actually told anyone myself. Johnny Walker and Jack Daniels became my best friends and I hid under the guise of writing a novel. I would lock myself in my room, afraid to fall victim to the warm arms that sometimes still held me with the love and devotion I once knew. I hated them all, vampires and wolves alike- a strong disregard for anything mythological was set in my heart. Jacob started coming home less and less, until he stopped coming home all together. I was pleased, I was heartbroken, but most of all I was finally okay. I'd heard that he'd found someone new, some girl that he couldn't live without, and I'd smiled remembering when I was that girl.

I started an online blog about heartbreak and abuse, because for many they go hand in hand. Living broken was a step down, but being independent trumped all my scars. Edward controlled me, Jacob controlled me, and then I was able to control myself. Going into town became easier as the gossip died down on me not being able to "hold a man down". I shivered at the thought, because all they'd done was hold me down. Charlie was oblivious to the pain that had become his daughter so we lost contact shortly after my marriage to Jake ended even though he lived ten minutes away. Jake could have him; he could have all of the people that turned their backs on me.

Paintings lined my walls and words covered the empty spaces in-between. It was all of me. It was all I'd needed was to be able to be myself without fear of being good enough. It took me too long to realize that it was them and not me, because I am perfection of the woman I'm supposed to be. Jacob is hiding beneath his fur and Edward is hiding with his teeth barred. I became a woman on my own in the absence of the love that was promised over and over. I became the Isabella Swan I was meant to be, or so I thought, until they came back into my life, obliterating the walls I'd put up around my heart.


	2. Chapter 2

I was dancing around eating pickles and peanut butter when I heard the pounding of an angry fist against my door. I grab the bat that lays against my coat rack for this exact reason when my door flies open and my eyes land on one of the men I never thought I'd see again.

"What are you doing here!?" I scream and start swinging the bat around. He grabs it easily and breaks it in two while his nostrils begin to flare. A look I've seen enough to know it means madness. He approaches me, with his heavy work boots slapping against the floor. I back up against the wall, but there's know where to go and I accept that as I slink down onto the floor and clutch my swollen abdomen.

"You weren't gonna tell me, huh? I find out you're pregnant from Lauren at the store she works at earlier today. I tried to take my time, but I needed to see if it was true…How could you do this to me? How could you keep this from me?" Jake asks as his voice goes from a roar to a whisper and I shake my head.

"Really after everything you've put me through, you think I'd let you near MY child!?" I spit at him angrily and rise from the floor. "I am no longer the young girl you were able to control; this is my house and you will leave if you cannot respect me. "

"Bella, please it was all a mistake- my anger inexcusable, but I couldn't control it. I'd imprinted and was fighting against it, because I wanted you and not her. It made me angry and sick. I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am. Please, can we try to be civil for this baby?" He pleads and I feel remorse, but only for a second.

"Jake, you can see this child, but she or he will always have someone around to protect them…I won't keep you away, but I won't concede to you having her by yourself." I say and I feel a wave of heat from him and he begins to shake.

"THAT IS MY CHILD DAMN IT!" He screams and this time I don't back down.

"You need to leave. Jake, you're shaking and I'd rather my furniture stay intact. "

"I'm not leaving-"He growls and then he bursts into werewolf form right before my eyes. I scream as his growls grow louder and he pins me into a corner snapping his teeth. He's lost it and this is it, where the baby and I don't make it. I grab my stomach and whimper, but before Jake can get any further my front door crashes open- before the blackness consumes me I see the black spiky hair of a woman who was once my sister.


End file.
